I woke up one night with severe abdominal pain, but the last thing I wanted was to be in A&E. I called the non-emergency number and had the most unpleasant conversation with a doctor who explained that the possibility of a miscarriage was likely at my stage of pregnancy. His advice was I should be happy because this indicated I could get pregnant and increased my chances of having a successful pregnancy next time. I froze and couldn’t say a word, my brain was just trying to register what was happening.
My interaction with the GP’s during my pregnancy was very disappointing that even the thought of speaking to a doctor made me frustrated. The advice I received from the GP was inadequate and unhelpful so much so that I started to lose all hope.
I was at work when I started having a miscarriage. To this day I don’t know how I managed to stay calm to tell my manager that I needed to leave. I was 8 weeks pregnant when I had the miscarriage, however this did not mean that because it was early that it gave the right for others to class it as insignificant or that I should not be able to acknowledge it. This was the most traumatic experience I have ever been through and this being my first pregnancy I had no idea how to handle my grief. At the time I was lucky to have family and friends who were patient and allowed me to discuss what happened and how this impacted my life.
There are women and men who don’t have the support they need. After doing research online and finding a support group I managed to slowly start my healing process
I decided to run the Brighton Marathon for Tommy’s as they provide an open and safe space for women where you can find out about their leading research, and they provide a platform for supporters and people who have suffered loss to come together, share their stories and inspire change – #togetherforchange. I cannot wait to cross the finish line! This is more than just a personal victory, it is another step forward in raising awareness.
During my healing process I found the Tommy’s website invaluable and it’s a shame that the GP did not make me aware of the support available. The advice, support and care Tommy’s provide should be standard across the NHS and the UK and I know that they are working hard to share their knowledge and break the taboo around baby loss. This experience has opened my eyes and I want to be part of that change. I don’t want to stand on the side lines. I and other women should never feel ashamed to talk about pregnancy loss.